You’re probably dealing with your anger all wrong—rage rooms, intense exercise and venting don’t work

Then there’s those rage rooms. “Initially, it can feel like a release,” says Cherise Stewart, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist practising in the Bay Area and author of several anger workbooks for adults, teens and children. “But when you’re really feeling angry…that can actually make you more angry.” And over time, “we end up training our brains to associate emotional release with physical aggression,” Stewart explains. So people who rely on these kinds of practices tend to develop a more aggressive, less healthy style of coping with anger, Dr. Martin says.

As for verbal or written catharsis—a.k.a. venting or rage journalling—this tends to feed your angry thoughts and feelings instead of helping you let them go. Venting can fan the flames of anger by encouraging rumination, Stewart explains. That’s where you’re rehashing how pissed off you are and why—chewing on frustrated or vengeful thoughts over and over.

The truth is, sure—the odd primal scream or rage run probably isn’t gonna hurt ya. (And again, might feel so damn good in the moment.) But the goal is to accept, process and channel your anger instead of ramping it up, Stewart says. On that note…

What to do instead

If unleashing your fury isn’t a thing after all, what does work? It turns out, moving your body, writing or talking about your anger, and channelling your energy can be healthy tools for working with your anger—if used correctly. Here’s what the experts recommend.

1. Instead of rage-running, try gentle movement

The first step is to regulate your body, says Akua K. Boateng, PhD, an individual and couples therapist and founder of Boateng Consulting. “The experience of anger is healthy, but a prolonged state of that hyperarousal is just not good for the body.” It’s also harder to think clearly or take wise action in that state. “We want to calm our bodies and get out of the stress response so that we can actually do something productive with our anger,” Stewart explains.

So skip the hardcore workout in favour of more low-key forms of movement. Dr. Boateng recommends stretching and foam-rolling (or even massage) to relieve the muscle tightness connected to anger. Dr. Martin likes a short walk in nature. That same review of studies on exercise also found that movement like yoga and playing ball sports significantly decrease anger (along with relaxation strategies, mindfulness and meditation). Other things to try: grounding exercises, taking a cold shower, EFT tapping and diaphragmatic breathing. These are also solid ways to regulate after you lost your cool or couldn’t resist your cathartic moment.

2. Instead of venting, constructively write or talk about it

While unchecked ranting isn’t productive, sharing your thoughts and feelings (with your journal or a person) with the intention to process and problem-solve “can be really therapeutic,” Dr. Martin says.