I tried to go to every single 2025 Met Gala after-party

Luhrmann is there, holding court in a private room with his wife, Catherine Martin. People are having a blast on the dance floor.

But I’m unsettled. I just got a text from a friend who is over in Meatpacking, where Pharrell is hosting an Uno tournament at The Crane Club. They’re handing out prizes—Rolexes, he heard. Laurence grabs my hand to dance, but I pull it away.

“Let’s leave,” I say.

“You sure?” He asks back.

“Yes. I want to go to Pharrell’s party.”

So back into the SUV we go.

Party Five: A$AP Rocky at Jean’s

A$AP Rocky’s after-party at Jean’s—which was advertised as a “space of his own design” on the invitation—is on the way from Monsieur to The Crane Club. So we decided to do a quick pit stop. We walk in and frankly, it’s pretty empty.

It’s past 3 a.m. at this point. Logic would have it that this party is emptying out because people are, well, going to bed. But instead it just fuels me with a delusion that it’s because everyone must be at Pharrell’s. So after one quick and unmemorable lap, we’re back in the car.

Party Six and Seven: Savannah James and Pharrell at The Crane Club

Technically, Crane Club is hosting two parties: one by Savannah James upstairs and another by Pharrell downstairs. But that’s really semantics because I was incorrect: everyone wasn’t at Pharrell’s. In fact, as a kind PR person told me, the Uno tournament ended about 15 minutes ago. I assure her that I will acknowledge this in my write-up. So here’s me staying true to my word.

Party Eight: Walton Goggins (Allegedly) at The Mulberry

When I got my invitation to Walton Goggins’s after-party at The Mulberry Bar, its start time was 2 a.m. If there was any place that was the late-night party, I figured, it had to be this one.

Laurence and I walk in… and don’t recognize a single soul. I squint at someone in the bathroom line. “I think maybe that is an actor from The Summer I Turned Pretty?” Then I look closer. “Actually, I’m not sure.”

We get a drink and sit in the booth. Maybe, I think, people will trickle in.