Why do working mothers in India struggle to delegate tasks at home as well as the office?

It’s 2am. I’m wide awake, attached to a breast pump, preparing for my toddler’s next feed. I could tackle the dirty dishes downstairs or prepare tomorrow’s breakfast. Instead, I scroll Instagram bleary-eyed, seeking momentary escape. Throughout my transition into motherhood, guilt has been my constant companion as I try to bounce back to my pre-pregnancy figure or make a dent in my to-do list. They say it takes a village, but delegating has always been my weakness. This struggle to relinquish control isn’t mine alone, but common among working mothers in India, who are often raised with the expectation of handling everything without complaint or assistance.

In Saumya Dave’s recently published novel The Guilt Pill, protagonist Maya Patel faces postpartum challenges similar to my own. As both a new mother and CEO, Maya wants to do it all in her personal and professional life. Even with a husband, family and colleagues eager to help, she doesn’t know how to take a break. The cultural imperative runs too deep. According to board-certified psychiatrist and author Dr. Sue Varma, “society has groomed women of colour to internalise the idea that self-reliance and over-functioning are markers of strength. In South Asian cultures, where family reputation is key, women are expected to fulfil multiple roles to perfection.”

Indian women are culturally conditioned to be grateful instead of asking for help. Anything less than absolute gratitude could risk judgment from society or extended family. Even in the workforce, juggling motherhood and professional obligations comes at a cost. According to Aon’s 2024 Voice of Women Study, 75% of working mothers reported career setbacks of one to two years after maternity leave. A costly price to pay in a culture that prefers hiring younger, cheaper talent and rewards those who constantly upskill.

Asking for help starts at home

For Gauri Agarwal, founder of Sihori, a craft brand that creates opportunities for artisanal women, delegation became less of a professional strategy and more of a personal lifeline. Growing up in Muzaffarnagar in Uttar Pradesh, Agarwal witnessed generations of women, including her own mother, living in financial dependence. The challenges that came with asking for help after breaking that generational cycle were another story. “I’m not sure if struggling with assigning tasks to others is an Indian thing, a woman thing or a ‘me’ thing, but I’ve always put immense pressure on myself to make everything my responsibility,” Agarwal admits. The friction in her marriage, coupled with postpartum depression and constant work travel, became a turning point. “How could I empower other women at work if I couldn’t help myself first?” Delegation was no longer an option for Agarwal, but a necessity.