In your 30s, a Sex And The City rewatch hits different

These are universal questions the show poses throughout the series, providing myriad answers through its four central characters. “They all show such different examples of what it means to be a woman,” says Emily. “And when they’re still figuring out dating into their late 30s, it makes me feel less behind and like I still have time left, which is admittedly such a grim statement but one that I find really comforting.”

Perhaps the most specifically thirtysomething issues that the series addresses are those around motherhood. Like Miranda’s unplanned pregnancy. Carrie’s contemplation over whether to pursue a relationship with Aleksandr Petrosky aged 38, knowing he doesn ’t want to have children. The scene when Samantha is told her cancer diagnosis could be related to her decision not to have children. And then there’s Charlotte’s fertility journey and her decision to pursue IVF.

“When I first watched the show as a teenager, these issues felt like something only ‘real adults’ had to deal with,” says Sarah* 36, who is now married and considering a family. “I’ve had two pregnancy losses and the episode covering Charlotte’s miscarriage really helped me process them at the time, while watching Carrie consider whether to have a baby at 38 has made me think deeply about how I’ll feel when I’m older if we choose not to try again. Whether I’ll regret it, or whether I could have a wonderfully fulfilling life, with friends and work and a relationship and disposable income, without a child.”

There are slightly more bittersweet moments of resonance, too. Like the episode where Carrie winds up celebrating her 35th birthday alone because her friends are separately all running late due to a confluence of unavoidable adult stuff. Later, after the women have managed to convene at their favourite coffee shop, she admits that despite knowing she has her career and her friendships, it felt “really sad” in that moment to be single. “I feel like I’m having the same conversation these days,” says Mia*, 33. “Like the shame of wanting something we’re not meant to want. The struggle is real—and lonely.”

As I’ve written about here before, major celebrations for single women are few and far between, at least where societal norms are concerned. Birthdays are really all we’ve got. And yet, as we get older, life gets in the way of them more and more in ways it somehow never does for weddings or hen dos—spare a thought for the woman running late to a game of Mr and Mrs. “This has come up for me a lot,” says Billie*, 41, whose friend with a toddler recently tried to arrange a small wedding ceremony on the day of their other friend’s 40th birthday party. “She had to properly explain to her that when you’re single, you have no opportunities to be celebrated.”