Is solo polyamory the most feminist dating trend right now?

The 2020s have been all about the alternative. When a pandemic hit at the end of the decade, it didn’t just deracinate the world order, it also rearranged it. The world as we knew it—and its structures—changed. And relationships were no exception.

An OECD study found that marriage rates declined by an average of 20% across 32 OECD countries in 2020. For dating singles in India, a 2023 Bumble survey found that about 60% of single Indians view ethical non-monogamy (including open relationships and polygamy) as the way of the future. At the heart of the shift away from traditional relationship structures has been female agency—financial, emotional and sexual. And with their powers combined emerges the Captain Planet of relationship trends for 2025: solo polyamory.

A solo polyamorist, by the simplest definition, is someone who has multiple intimate relationships with people, but with an independent lifestyle. They essentially do not live with partners, share finances or have a desire to reach the traditional relationship milestones that make their lives more enmeshed with their partners’. It can be a permanent or temporary lifestyle choice, but when you’re in (regardless of how many partners you have), you are, at your core, ‘independent’.

It took some degree of trial and error for Poorna T, 37 and divorced, to find her way to solo polyamory. She married her high school sweetheart when she was 23, and after nine years of growing discomfort in monogamy, she realised she wanted out. “I like having my own life and I always felt it had to be one or the other—be single or be in a ‘serious’ relationship,” she says. Poorna didn’t even realise she was a solo polyamorist until a friend in an open marriage pointed it out. “She said it so casually one day over brunch, back in 2021, when I mentioned feeling guilty about dating two people. Monogamy was so deeply programmed in me that I hadn’t even considered the idea that multiple relationships could work in a healthy way.” Four years later, with two partners in her city and one long distance, Poorna has managed to carve out emotional fulfilment as well as her own space.

Amira G, 26, is new at this. Both polyamory and solo polyamory are fairly nascent concepts in her life but she finds herself taking to them. “My friends have always called me a serial monogamist because, until last year, I hadn’t been single since I was 15.” But after her last relationship ended (“on good terms”, she hastily adds, lest we think of this as a recoil reaction), she decided to explore other structures. “I currently have just one primary partner and I’m casually dating. But wherever this relationship or any new ones that form go, I like the independence of this structure.” Her life is busy with work, friends, boxing training thrice a week and her cat Bingus. “I tend to lose myself in my relationships. This has helped that not happen.”