An age gap in your friendship could actually be really cool

To the average tennis fan, the US Open wildcard pairing of tennis legend Venus Williams and rising star Leylah Fernandez sounded like just another doubles matchup. As the two advanced to the quarterfinals—before losing to Taylor Townsend and Kateřina Siniaková—their chemistry and effortless camaraderie both on and off the court had the entire internet rallying around them. “It’s the best partner I’ve ever played with outside of Serena,” Williams said about Fernandez. “We’re almost the same. We play the same style. I’m just a little bit bigger. We’re a great team.”

If you didn’t know, Fernandez is 22 while Williams is 45—a notable gap (and one of the widest on the tour, which only adds to the intrigue). So we got to thinking: Could their age difference be one of the reasons they hit it off? (No pun intended.)

Just as we’ve started to culturally normalise age gaps in romantic relationships (thanks in part to recent movies like Babygirl and The Idea of You), experts say it’s also worth opening our minds to what we might gain when we engage in platonic age-gap friendships. Whether it’s five years between you or 20, these types of relationships can actually enrich our lives in ways same-age connections can’t, according to Jennifer Hoffman, LCSW, Connecticut-based therapist and the founder of Instar Healing.

Here are the most surprising perks of an age gap in a friendship—and what we can all learn from befriending someone 10-plus years our senior (or junior).

What are the unique benefits of an age gap in a friendship?

There’s less pressure to compete or compare

Despite what you may think, being in totally different life stages can actually be helpful for bonding. Friends who are roughly the same age more easily fall into the trap of mental scorekeeping, Hoffman says. (Cue the flashback reel of being the only single one at your college friend’s wedding, watching a coworker who started when you did get promoted before you…etc.)

When you’re with someone of a different generation, however, it’s less likely you’ll feel as competitive, envious and pressured—which makes it easier to enjoy each other’s company and celebrate each other’s wins without envy or nagging anxiety about where you “should” be.

Their wisdom and experience offer a unique perspective

According to Kimberly Horn, EdD, MSW, psychologist and author of Friends Matter, for Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship, one of the greatest benefits of an age-gap friendship is the built-in mentoring.