If you’re wondering, ‘Am I muted on Instagram?’—I’m sorry, but you probably are

It turns out that there are a lot of us. More than I assumed. While researching for this piece, I discovered that people mute others for reasons that are even more unhinged than my own. A friend of mine mutes people if they post too many dogs, meals and/or babies. “I want to be entertained,” she reasons. It doesn’t help that, during this era of handing out our Instagram handles in the way prior generations handed out phone numbers, our feeds are now clogged with acquaintances whose content we might not even enjoy. “It’s become an A to Z of everyone I’ve ever met,” this aforementioned friend says. “But if you unfollow, it’s rude.”

Plenty of people I speak to say they’ve muted exes, ex flings and people they’ve “shagged once but built up an unhealthy resentment towards after being parred.” I haven’t done this myself, but I can understand the urge. Sometimes the reasons we mute people aren’t because we don’t like them, or even their posts, but because seeing them makes us feel a certain way. “I have muted ex partners so I don’t get tempted to think about them too much,” one person tells me, “even if we are friendly enough to still be on Instagram with each other.”

Politics came up a lot as a reason for muting: Too much politics. Politics that people don’t align with. Too many political infographics making the same points to followers who probably have the same views as them. For some, social media can feel like a powerful tool in which to have their voices heard en masse in ways they can’t in real life. For others, political posting can feel futile, performative or even jarring, “like having the news on your phone” as one person tells me. I’ve probably been guilty of the aforementioned. ‘Am I muted on Instagram for the same reason by other people?’ I wondered.

In fact, the more I thought about my own muting habits, and spoke to others about theirs (“If I feel a pang of anything I cut it out of the feed,” one person tells me. “Whether it’s a bit cringe, or something approaching envy or comparison, or just too much ‘look at me’ content”), I realise that the reasons are so arbitrary, so “on the fly”, that I’ve probably inspired a few mutes myself—if I’m lucky. Maybe you have too. “Okay, fess up, who’s muted me?!” I could post on my Stories in the unhinged tone that probably got me a few mutes in the first place. Except, those who the question is directed at wouldn’t hear me. As is their divine right.