The surprisingly simple wellness rule that could boost your health

What if the new balance of well-being wasn’t played out on your yoga mat or on your plate, but at the heart of your relationships? In the same way as physical and mental fitness, social fitness is also important in everyday life and can be worked on, nurtured and maintained. At least that’s what Kasley Killam, a sociologist who studied at Harvard, has to say. She’s devised a simple wellness rule for cultivating social relationships: the 5-3-1 rule.

What is the 5-3-1 rule?

Humans are gregarious by nature, feeding on what connects them to others. It was with this in mind that Killam came up with the 5-3-1 rule. In her book on social health, The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living (2024), she defends a simple idea: our human network is a living organ. It breathes, stretches and weakens if we stop nourishing it. And like everything that keeps us upright, it deserves daily attention. The 5-3-1 rule is not a strict discipline or yet another wellness to-do list. Rather, it’s an invitation to sculpt our relational well-being with the same care as we apply to moisturising our skin or soothing our mind.

To achieve this, three numbers and three movements have been identified to strengthen your social muscles:

• 5: every week, spend time with five different people or social groups to multiply interactions (friends, family, neighbors, colleagues or new acquaintances) and thus naturally integrate more social life into your routine.
• 3: every month, allow yourself at least 3 deeper interactions with people from your close circle, those with whom you really listen and where social masks come off.
• 1: every day, devote an hour or so to social interaction, however fragmented, to meet your daily social needs.

By bringing these three gestures together, you will be following a method that repairs and strengthens the invisible social fabric that sustains us. The 5-3-1 rule doesn’t promise a perfect life but one that’s surrounded, more stable and more alive.

Why apply the 5-3-1 rule to everyday life?

In a world where we take care of our skin, our sleep and our food, we sometimes forget that our well-being is also nourished by the invisible thread that connects us to others. Killam, the sociologist behind the method, reminds us that social health is not a luxury, but an essential pillar of our equilibrium. Practising this simple wellness rule (five different weekly contacts, three more genuine monthly exchanges and one hour of daily sociability), awakens a part of ourselves that is too often put on the back burner or underestimated. The 5-3-1 rule eases stress, soothes silent loneliness, boosts confidence and rekindles the feeling of being surrounded and supported by your peers. Considered a wellness ritual, the 5-3-1 rule is like a skincare routine for the soul, rehydrating bonds like a serum repairs thirsty skin.