Who’s third wheeling the couple at Indian weddings? Talismans and traditions that ward off nazar

If there is one tradition that is an inextricable part of the Indian wedding machinery, it’s the meticulous art of warding off nazar. This full-fledged operation has everyone from pandits and Pinky Maasi to your first-grade teacher moonlighting as security guards against the evil eye.

In this realm of DIY spiritual defence, even a stray compliment can be interpreted as an act of aggression. Just a week before my wedding, the designer who was creating my outfit innocently posted a sneak peek of my bridal ensemble on Instagram. The DMs came flooding in: “Make her take it down immediately!” Cue panic. By the time of my next fitting, the dress had to be let out. Whether the culprit was the evil eye or PMS bloat remains a mystery to this day. But I’ll tell you this: nothing humbles a bride faster than realising that the universe has teamed up with her waistline to make a point.

It would seem that envy fuels this cosmic mischief, and nothing attracts envy like things going well. Weddings, of course, are evil-eye magnets—grand spectacles of joy practically begging for the poisoned arrow of nazar to hit them. That’s why our ancestors (and their cousins and neighbours) devised strategies as elaborate as the weddings themselves to keep the thing at bay. After all, before any auspicious occasion, there is a lot of energy coming your way, positive or suspect. And if carrying out simple rituals can give you a little peace of mind, then why not? If you could devise a first line of defence against ill will, why wouldn’t you?

Of course, everyone’s talismans take different shapes. The Greeks have blue beads. In the Middle East, it’s the hamsa. Italy has the cornicello. Egypt flashes the eye of Horus to ill-wishers. Indians sport the black dot or nazar battu. Turkey and the tiny tattoo on my right arm both have the ever- ever-so-ubiquitous evil eye. And let me tell you, the haters don’t stand a chance.

From fiery nimboo-mirchi garlands to the occasional smudge of soot on your cheek, nazar rituals are a mix of ancient wisdom and everyday absurdity. But just how absurd are we talking? “My grandmother made me carry a lemon for 15 days, starting from the day I got engaged, all the way until the final day. That poor lemon went with me everywhere—inside my purse, my laptop bag, my tote when I went to the mall, even tucked into my pocket during my evening walks,” Nikita Desai, 34, a Gujarati bride from Mumbai, recounts. Manisha Rai, 29, a Bengali bride, reminisces: “I remember a ritual from my haldi where I was given a small yellow coin pouch filled with mustard seeds and salt and told to keep it with me until the wedding day. I was also prohibited from going out or being in public.”The condition was put on her by her grandmother and designed to keep unwanted gazes away.