Can trio friendships ever actually work?

So what does that look like? Here are a few key factors that can mean the difference between a lifelong support system…and a horror story you’ll be trying to forget for years to come.

What are the secrets to a successful, drama-free trio?

1. Include everyone in group decisions—even for the small stuff

Whether it’s choosing a brunch spot or deciding where to watch The White Lotus, making sure all three voices are heard helps prevent that dreaded “pairing off” dynamic that can quickly derail a trio.

“It’s easy to assume that if one friend is on board, the majority is already settled,” Atkinson says. The problem, though, is this mindset treats the third pal more as an afterthought, which is why a simple extra step—explicitly checking in with them anyway—can make a sweet, subtle difference. If you and Friend #1 are both down to try a wine bar on Sunday, for instance, respond in the group chat with something like, “Cool! What about you, #3? Or would you rather do a different spot?”

It might seem like a small gesture, but “this intentional act inadvertently gives each person that sense of importance and value within the trio—that feeling that everybody matters equally,” Atkinson explains.

2. Invest in the individual relationships within the trio

According to Dr. Bradford, a trio should also consist of three separate duos. In other words, “every member should have their own relationships with each other,” she says—meaning, if one person isn’t around, the remaining two can still click without it feeling awkward or forced. Otherwise, the vibe can quickly turn inauthentic and imbalanced, resembling a “friendship” out of convenience rather than genuine connection.

While this isn’t to say you should secretly pair off all the time, it’s helpful to keep in mind that just because two people are getting along doesn’t mean you should take it personally—or assume you’re the weakest link. Of course, “there still needs to be instances when the entire group is coming together,” Dr. Bradford points out. “But you should be excited to be around each person individually while still having an equally great time all together.”

So even if you and Friend #1 have been inseparable since college and Friend #3 is a newer addition from work, it’s still worth carving out your own bond. You don’t have to be equally close, but maybe #3 is your go-to for dishing celebrity gossip or finding the best-hidden gem bars. The key is building separate connections that strengthen the crew as a whole—rather than relying on one person to hold it together.

3. Include everyone in group decisions—even for the small stuff

If there’s one skill that can make or break a trio friendship, it’s communication. “Everyone needs to be open with their feelings, emotions and needs,” Atkinson says. “And that involves addressing conflicts as a ‘we’”—which is a lot harder than it sounds. Compared to twosomes, “it’s more likely for someone to feel like the odd one out in trios, as if they’re being ganged up on or caught in the middle,” she explains.