The most enchanting weddings often feel like they’ve leapt straight out of a fairy tale, with glittering lights, tear-jerking vows and storybook romance. But once the confetti has run out and the cake has been eaten, the marriage that truly begins—a commitment that’s built on something far deeper. The strongest marriages demand hard work, the kind that shows up even when it’s inconvenient. Because while weddings may sparkle, it’s the quiet, consistent tending of love that makes a marriage last. Below, Vogue India lists 26 marriage tips to keep that spark in your relationship alive.
1. Talk about the money, honey
So you’re a double income household run by a power couple with soaring careers and sky-high ambitions? Between income-based power play, stealth overspending and a mismatch in financial values, money can derail things faster than you can count the zeroes in your bank balance. Revisit your financial goals regularly. “Make sure you agree on one simple structure: how do we split bills, save and splurge?” says Lavanya Mohan, chartered accountant, content creator and author of Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees. “You can go 50/50, or pro-rata based on income, or keep a joint account just for shared goals. Whatever works—as long as you both understand it and both feel seen.”
2. Read the Kama Sutra
“The sage Vatsayana wrote that for good sex, the genitals have to be fairly matching in size,” says mythologist and author of The Art of Seduction, Seema Anand. “But obviously, you can’t always go checking the size of people’s genitals before you marry them, so he created a bunch of ways and positions to synchronise those sizes.” There’s also an entire section in the Kama Sutra devoted to what men can do to make a woman fall in love with him, so that she will accept his proposal—just like Hitch, but this advice on romance and foreplay is everlasting.
3. Accept that the in-laws are part of the package
Begin by “sharing what family means to you from a space of understanding context, not from a space of blame,” suggests Mumbai-based psychotherapist Anusha Manjani. “In South Asia, we marry into networks of duty and history. Often what we call ‘interference’ by in-laws is unresolved enmeshment or unconscious loyalty. Partners are often trying to mature from fused roles like the ‘good child’, ‘dutiful son’, ‘obedient daughter-in-law’ and that can create conflict.” So what can you do about this? “Keep the focus on ‘we’—align as a team and be clear on what is okay and not okay when it comes to spending time with family. For example, how do we want to spend our holidays and festivals?” Come to this conversation not with rigid expectations, but patience while being firm and clear. “Think of this not as rebellion, but repair.”
4. Don’t resort to pre-nups
To begin with, says Mohan, pre-nups are not legally recognised in India and can get thrown out of court easily. And secondly, wouldn’t you rather enter a marriage, even one with a wealth imbalance, with openness and clarity? “This may be unsettling, but you’d rather do the hard work of tackling wealth planning early on,” says Mohan. “And if your partner or partner’s family is the one insisting on legalities, don’t be dismissive or look at it as an accusation. Try to understand what’s going on instead and consult your own lawyers on the whys and the whats. This is where you really get to know who you’re marrying, so don’t take this experience for granted.”
5. Drop them a text at odd hours of the day…
Between endless tasks, a mountain of paperwork and a million Zoom calls (that could’ve been an email), it can be hard to take out time for each other when you’re both at work. Harder still when there’s an Instagram reel or Twitter storm always at hand to distract you. “Little updates during breaks like ‘I just ate’ or ‘having such a tough day’ can help you stay connected even when you’re apart,” says New Delhi-based psychologist Divija Bhasin. Memes or emoji work too, if those are your love language.
6. …And make a ritual of reviewing those hours apart
Screens in bed and when we wake up—who are we really married to? “Create intentional screen free rituals,” says Manjani. “Ask them: what was especially joyful or challenging about your day?” It could be at a device-free dinner, while making a cup of coffee or reconnecting at the end of the day while doing chores. “It is not about the amount of time or money spent on dates but more about creating room for daily presence and connection with each other.”
7. Even better: do the day-audit naked
Anand recommends carving out 15 minutes at the end of every day for “very close, intimate, non sex time” and building it into your daily routine. “Lie down with each other naked and cuddle but don’t talk about sexy stuff. Talk about your day. The rule is, this does not lead to sex. This is to remind yourself how good and comforting and nice it feels to touch each other, to truly be with each other.”
8. Those chores are a bore but you’ve got to do them—together
Of course, it isn’t fair that one partner becomes the default chef/maid/ house manager if the other is on a faster growth trajectory. “Sit down to ask: What does a functioning home look like to both of us? What tasks do we hate? What do we not mind? What can we afford to outsource so we don’t end up totally hating each other?” says Mohan. You can also draw up a joint chore schedule. “One person has late-night meetings on Tuesdays? Cool—maybe the other handles dinner that day and they swap on Friday. The idea is to be equitable (different from equal).”
9. And if one really truly can’t? Show up in other ways
Maybe you’re so swamped with your partner track, you actually can’t do the laundry. “But then, perhaps you can handle all the bill payments or weekend grocery runs,” says Mohan. “The point is to demonstrate intent and to say, ‘I see this as our shared load and I want to carry my part’.”
10. Cook together—and make it sexy
Anand suggests practising “relationship foreplay”. The key to good intimacy, she says, is transition: You have to be in the right frame of mind, not still thinking about that email you’re drafting or that contract you need to sign. She suggests watching a comedian together in bed (and naked, if you like) because “you can’t imagine what laughing together can do for your relationship.” Or the very tactile, sensory act of cooking. “Either you turn it into a game or it’s just a simple meal,” says Anand. “Think about the transitions that you actually use so it’s not like cooking with a friend.”
11. Make an offline weekend once a month non-negotiable
“We all have core needs of being seen and heard, and listening with intention and attention is a big part of what is needed to build intimacy today,” says Manjani. A screen-less weekend can do wonders, she says: Stay in and read to each other or play strip Scrabble, go out and explore the city, but take time away from work and your screens. It can “ground, reconnect and bring more care to what the relationship needs”.
12. Take up a regular outdoor activity together
Hit the padel court, go hiking once a week, ride the Peloton—whatever it is, make a habit of getting out of the house and into spaces where you can kick things up a notch, even allow your competitive side to come out and play. “Anything other than that mandatory weekly candlelight dinner date which comes with so much pressure to perform,” says Anand.
13. But also, make (and take) space
They love going on road trips with their friends, you could spend the whole weekend knitting through re-runs of Sex and the City. That’s not just okay, that’s great. There must be space for “each partner to follow their own interests or meet other social circles,” says Manjani. “Be curious and encouraging of their autonomy.”
14. Don’t tell your partner to “cheer up”
It’s never easy: An unexpected anxiety attack while getting ready for work or living under a black cloud for weeks. It’s not easy on them—or you. “But try to learn more about your partner’s mental health problems by reading about it,” says Bhasin. “We often tell people to be positive or be grateful to try and cheer them up but can end up invalidating their feelings in the process.” Instead, seek professional help but also understand that actually taking that help will be their call.
15. Sometimes, let your skin do the talking
“A long hug, holding their hand during a tough conversation, placing your palm gently on their back or leaning into each other can signal ‘I’m here with you, I care for you, I see you’ to your partner’s nervous system,” says Manjani.
16. Tell them what you want—and don’t—in bed
Maybe you don’t want sex after a harrowing week at work, but you do want… something. Set a 15-minute timer for judgement-free play, says Anand, and tell them to give you the neck massage or kisses on your stomach that you’ve been craving. Or, maybe you don’t like how they kiss you. Lack of courage, meet role-play. “A friend in the kink community came up with this wonderful idea,” says Anand, “try light sub and dom play. It’s like a verbal script where you basically issue directions. Plus, you can be sure that your partner is listening at this point because, I’m sorry to say, but a lot of the time they are not.”
17. Don’t keep score
The reality of contemporary life is that we assess the world (and ourselves) in terms of productivity and can end up assigning value based on numbers. Manjani sees a lot of couples “keeping track of who did what or earned how much”. “It is important to use a shared language of respect and not comparison when talking about time and contribution. Try to name—and value the invisible labour and reclaim rest.”
18. Say yes to toys
Sex toys, says Anand, are great to experiment with together because “they can help take the pressure off and then this time can just be for the sheer pleasure of being together. On days when you’re not up to it, it’s wonderful to have mutual masturbation.” And if all of that is too uncomfortable, then play with toys by yourself, she says, without the guilt. “The more you understand your body, the more you can guide your partner. It’s not their job to discover your pleasure points.”
19. Create a ‘forever’ asset together
Maybe it’s real estate, or maybe it’s a joint retirement fund that you will sink into that round-the-world cruise you’ve dreamt of your whole life—but creating a long-term asset or goal together, says Mohan, is a powerful way of showing commitment. “You want to convey that the money you make is not ‘your’ money, but ‘our’ money. If you’re the earning or significantly higher earning partner, proactively include your partner in your financial decision-making process so he or she feels like you’re working towards a joint future.”
20. Make a ritual of reviewing boundaries
Things change. You change. You might have realised you aren’t enjoying something you thought you were flexible about—or the opposite. Anand suggests having monthly talks about boundaries which, just like consent, is not a one-time thing set in stone—and this isn’t even restricted to sex. To make it a conversation, not confrontation, Anand and her partner would gather daisies on walks in the meadows behind their house, and then offer a daisy to each other for each new rule they wanted to set. “Create a ritual. It softens the edges.”
21. Learn to appreciate the small things
Every once in a while, leave them a note noticing the everyday or unsaid gestures, says Manjani. Things like “thank you for always making me laugh at awkward family gatherings” or “thank you for making the reservations whenever we go out to eat.” They’ll love that you’re paying attention.
22. Interested in exploring your kinks? Say it first, act later
Think you might be bisexual? Want to try cuckolding? “Don’t go try it and then come back and say, I enjoyed that,” says Anand. “You have to remember that marriage is like a contract that you sign. There are certain unwritten rules and the main one of monogamy is fidelity.” Talk about it with your partner, she says—you might be surprised at just how willing they are to go along with it.
23. Tread very carefully on the ‘P’ word
If you or your partner want to try polyamory or an open marriage, Anand’s advice is to look up the subject to understand what questions need to be asked. “It’s not as simple as deciding that one wants to also sleep with somebody else at the same time. There are some basic questions you need to deal with that don’t even fall in the emotional paradigm—things like STIs, living arrangements, financial arrangements, legal repercussions. Remember: this requires even higher levels of trust than being monogamous.”
24. When fidelity becomes difficult, try therapy
Maybe it’s not even Tinder; maybe they’re just talking—to ChatGPT. “Even though AI can become a proxy for unmet needs, the actual work is in facing what those needs are—was it emotional availability, curiosity, lack of judgement or distraction? Is it a symptom of loneliness or disconnection, or is one partner trying to reclaim something they have lost—desire, aliveness or validation? In therapy, we don’t rush to close or repair the relationship but create space to understand these needs and check if it is possible to reconnect and repair,” says Manjani.
25. Set up a Google Calendar meet (if you must) for the 3Cs
“Create time to check in with the other,” says Manjani. “Ask: do you need Comfort (need for support and rest), Connection (time to spend together, affection, touch) or Celebration (need to be appreciated or to celebrate a small win)?” And then follow through with action, however small.
26. Sign up for that waltz class
On one side is rhythm and habit (or worst case, total monotony). On the other is discovery and reconnection. “Try new things: dance or doodle, introduce your favourite childhood games and activities to each other,” suggests Manjani. “Find ways to create joy—because that joy is glue.
This story appears in Vogue India’s Wedding Book alongside the September-October 2025 issue. Subscribe here
