It’s hard to pinpoint why I find women screaming at each other on TV so relaxing. I wonder whether it’s just a dopamine thing—it’s pure entertainment, which in itself is de-stressing. It’s also just low-stakes TV—you don’t need to be keeping up with the plot points at all times, this isn’t Succession—so you can sort of dip in and out of their fights like you might an episode of EastEnders, except with botox-ed 50-something hotel owners rather than pub landlords wearing leopard print. It’s also familiar—they go to a party, they fight, you pick a side—making it more like watching a sitcom or WWE than the sort of real, cortisol-spiking argument you might encounter elsewhere.
I’m obviously not the only one who feels this way about women screaming at each other on-screen. TikTok users post about it all the time. “Nothing like unwinding to the soothing sounds of women arguing on TV,” posted one user. “Relaxing morning routine as a Bravo fan,” posted another, while serenely eating cereal to the sound of unhinged screams. “My relaxing skincare routine as a Bravo fan” said another, dabbing cleanser on her face while Angie K delivers the aforementioned zinger. Clearly, the Bravo effect is widespread. Women and gay men especially—and it is exclusively women and gay men who post about this—are unwinding en masse to these spectacular, glass-shattering rows.
When I reached out to other reality TV fans, I was surprised by the sheer number of people who said that watching women go HAM was more than relaxing—it was cathartic. “There’s something about being a woman and being angry that’s quite hush hush,” said Phoebe, 21. “Yet these women, no matter the issue, scream and yell.” Sophie, 26, agreed: “Women are mostly socialised to be polite and deferential, so it’s satisfying seeing them express unlimited emotion.” “It’s refreshing to see women respond in a way that is emotion-driven and actually being praised and more successful because of it,” added Annabelle, 29.
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