Why that Carrie Coon monologue in The White Lotus made every woman feel seen

The world has been waiting for a Carrie Coon monologue, and in the season three finale of The White Lotus, she delivered.

The veteran actor is known for her dramatic chops and quiet yet powerful emotional resonance, and her character on the hit HBO series, Laurie, has been no exception. One of three childhood friends reunited for an extravagant girl’s weekend, Laurie has contained a simmering sadness and rage since the first episode, when seeing her besties, Jaclyn and Kate, chatting and laughing sent her into a wail of despair. It’s our first glimpse into her inner turmoil—that despite how much she loves her friends, she is filled with grief when she compares their lives to her own.

For the audience, Laurie’s feelings were achingly real—and disquietingly uncomfortable. All three women entered into their adult lives on relatively the same level. They graduated from their Midwest high school and headed on three separate life paths.

But since then, their fortunes have diverged. So it’s not entirely surprising that while Kate and Jaclyn discuss how amazing the week in Thailand has been, Laurie finally admits that she hasn’t felt the same way. She has felt “sad all week,” she tells them, and it’s mostly because of her own internal pain.

“I just feel like my expectations were too high or I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life and your choices,” she starts. “And when I’m with you guys, it’s just so transparent what my choices were and my mistakes.”

She then continues: “I have no belief system. Well, I mean, I’ve had a lot of them. I mean, work was my religion for forever, but I definitely lost my belief there. And then I tried love and that was just a painful religion just made everything worse. And then even for me, just like being a mother, that didn’t save me either. But I had this epiphany today: I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever and name shit, it still feels very fucking deep. I am glad you have a beautiful face and I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. I am just happy to be at the table.”